There will always be a limit to what others can be and do for us. Our expectations of others constantly need to be in check. When we feel like we need to cling; we need to back off and go to Jesus. When we feel hurt that no one is listening, we need to take that hurt and make sure we have talked with God about it. Maybe that person wasn’t supposed to share in the joy or hurt of it at all. Maybe it was just meant for the Lord. Jesus will always want to be clung to; Jesus will always listen when our hearts truly need it.
I have a fabulous husband. He is truly an awesome man and I love him. He is my best friend. I do not say this to disrespect him, but to make my point by a real-life example. Ha! (Marriage gives us some of the best!)
I was really looking forward to sharing with John something that I felt like I got from the Lord before he got home. He was sitting at the table ~ right in front of me. I chose that time to speak because there were no distractions (imagine that!) and I know that men (especially my man) tend to take out one file at a time to focus on. Sooooo…I opened my mouth and began…Only to have John get up about one minute after I started, during the most important part of my story, and do something at the counter. I was a bit distracted because of the sudden interruption and when he sat back down, I decided just to be quiet and see what would happen. What happened?
Not one word. From him or I. It was as though the conversation had vanished into mid-air. Disappeared. Never having happened in the first place.
I finally broke the silence and said, “You have no idea what I was saying, nor do you have any idea that I stopped right in the middle of my most important point, do you?”
Do you know how he answered my question????
He started LAUGHING about it. He realized he hadn’t listened to one word I had said up to that point. So let me stop there and ask you how you would have responded?
Great time for me to be really ticked off huh? Well, I have been married to him long enough to know that these kinds of “conversations” happen from time to time. I was a little irked. But as I walked down the hallway away from the table, the Holy Spirit ministered to me about it and gave me the realization that humans are so limited in what they can offer each other. Now, fellowship is a deep joy of mine. I have friends who rejoice with me when I rejoice and who pray for me when I am sad…and those are great blessings to me! But they will not be fully able to fill the deepest parts of me that can ONLY be filled with God.
The Scripture says, “Each heart knows its own bitterness,
and no one else can share its joy.” Proverbs 14:10
Only God loves me perfectly. Only God knows my deepest and most personal sorrows and joys.
“For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?” I Corinthians 2:11a
Others can hold us through sorrow or be used of God mightily to help in some degree, but what they cannot offer us…we need look only to Jesus for.
On this holiday of Love, be reminded that all of us are reaching out to love and be loved by imperfect people on this side of heaven. If satan is tempting you to view someone else as more palatable to love, or if someone seems as though they will love you more perfectly than what you are experiencing right now ~ it is merely a grasping for straws. We all fail each other at times. None of us are able to be each other’s Savior or 24/7 lifeline. May we look to the One Who gave His life, with perfect unselfishness, for us…while we were yet sinners. Look to Him for all your needs and to others as icing on the cake. Let the disappointment (of not being loved as you feel you should be) just roll off of your back today and look again to Jesus. He will never fail to love you perfectly ~ although I, and those around you, might. (1 Corinthians 13:8a)
I do not speak today of relationships that are toxic. I am speaking of you and I making sure we are not putting on other people a burden of “loving us” a certain way that should only be filled with Jesus Himself. Can I talk to John about the fact that he hurt my feelings that night? Of course. Can I expect him, as my godly husband, to do better than that when I am trying to tell him something important? Sure. The Bible tells us to love each other like Christ loves us.
“A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
But I will not look to him for my ultimate fulfillment. There is forgiveness when he falls short (and when I do for that matter!) There is a fulfillment which I need to get from Jesus, in the morning, before anyone else even wakes up. Besides, the best part of that night was what happened between the Lord and I. Nothing compares to that intimacy or friendship. John’s sharing with me in that is only icing on the cake…and icing without a cake can’t stand. Yet, cake was meant to have some icing too. 🙂 Balanced in our “need for love” and sensitive to when we may be overstepping the bounds of trying to get it from where we shouldn’t be trying ~ that’s all. Have a Happy Valentine’s Day! Remember just how great the Father’s Love is for us all!